Aspirations

I seem to be getting closer and closer to my career goals everyday.

I mean...I still have a long way to go, but things seem to be slowly falling into place recently. I definitely have been feeling blessed lately. I'm back in Japan working (just as an ALT though), still dating my wonderful boyfriend without much conflict (mostly internal petty things on my part), and things just seem to be going really well. I still struggle financially, because I haven't received my first paycheck yet, but I have lived on low funds in Japan before and can somehow still manage (mostly with the help of my boyfriend buying and giving me things and parents giving me money when they can).

Recently, I have been thinking more about my career path. Since I graduated with an undergrad degree in PR last December, I haven't done much concerning that degree and skill sets I obtained. I've mostly been focused on getting the ALT job confirmed and in place, then actually moving to Japan and settling in. Moving to Japan is just the first step. After my one year contract as an ALT ends I hope to move on to something more of my expertise and passion.

Before coming back to Japan, I became a follower of quite a few J-vloggers and Japanese YouTubers. I then fell in love with the YouTube Japan community. Previously, I never gave much thought about becoming a vlogger or uploading videos on YouTube myself. I thought it would be cool to get a following, but I think everyone has thoughts of wanting to become famous at some point in their life. After watching these people upload their lives in Japan on YouTube and gain a following, I began thinking. What if I try that when I move back to Japan? Because I took some media classes in the last part of my college career, I was given many assignments that I had to produce my own content and upload it online. These classes give me opportunities to see what its like to try and gain a following. I haven't had much success, but during these classes I would keep thinking of what kind of content I could cover when I return to Japan. I've gained all kinds of inspirations from various vloggers and bloggers, but I was never certain of any ideas I though of. It is hard to come up with content that isn't already out there or something interesting enough to gain a following.

Some ideas of themes I want to try for my online presence are:
Fangirl life in Japan (especially as a foreigner)
Being plus sized in Japan
Interesting restaurants and food finds in Japan (already have a blog from a class project set up for this)

I have also been making my presence on Twitter much more active since that is a big outlet in Japan. Recently I've had a lot of success in interacting with my favorite J-vloggers. At first it seemed to be just likes, but now they've been replying to tweets I mention them in. That is a BIG confidence boost. One of my goals is to become friends with them and make connections for my career future. But that is why I had this big revelation for starting up blogging and possibly even vlogging. If I ever meet any of them and become friends, I need to have a good online personality and presence set up with at least some good content to provide. Most of them may have become famous through YouTube, but they have other careers as well. One of them even has a dream job of mine, working as an English vocal coach (not sure of the exact title) with Japanese actors and entertainment people.  While I do hope to be genuine friends with J-vloggers and become part of YouTube Japan community, I don't see myself making a career out of blogging and possible vlogging. My biggest insecurity is that I don't like the sound of my voice or seeing myself on video. I've slowly started overcoming this insecurity with the help of students I teach telling me I have a pretty voice and that I'm cute (also bf recently said that my voice was one of the things he first became attracted to).

I'm still very anxious about everything, but I have some time before I need to have my next career step in place.

Wish me luck~

Best Friend?

Is it ok if I can't pinpoint who my best friend is?

I know I am being overly emotional right now or I could be starting my period soon...but I've just hit a low point today and I need to rant.

All the questions that ask "Who is your best friend?" I have to seriously think about who it is at that moment.
There are two people who I want to call my best friend.

The first is my friend that I've known since 4th grade and we used to be inseparable in high school. She was like my shadow and we had our own little world at times, but recently I don't feel that close to her anymore. It was a slow process with me going away to college and her interests and fandoms diverging from mine. We used to be so in sync and she is who I credit my love for Asian cultures to because she introduced me to some anime and then we both got into Jpop, some Kpop, and dramas. But somewhere along the way she got away from all that. I tried to keep up with her by watching Glee with her over Skype and binge watching episodes I had missed when I would go home. I also fell in love with Starkid because of her and went to the tour stops in Texas with her. But now she's big into American mainstream music, shows and topics and a big LBGTQ activist. I'm not saying I'm against those, but they're not my passions. I'm not saying that we can't be best friends if we don't have the same passions, but I really want to connect better.

The person that I share feelings with and we share fandoms/passions, I have not known for very long. I feel like it took us such a short time to get so close, but I can't be her best friend because I'm late in the game. Her other close friends that have been around longer than me come first in her mind, which is totally understandable. I know it isn't fair to say things like this, but that's how I feel sometimes. I know we're real close, but she's like me and has many friends that she loves and protects. I just want to be first in someone's mind. Two of her other close friends came and got her last night to hang out and I didn't know until she told me earlier. I thought we were all close, but in my mind I can't get on their level because I'm still sorta new to the group. Up until I became friends with them, I never felt like I had a "squad" or"clique" to belong to in college. But even with them I still feel like I don't belong at times.

I guess I just want to have a really strong connection with someone where we are totally in sync with our thoughts and passions.

Not even can my boyfriend be called my best friend. We really don't have all that much in common actually, but it still works I guess. I don't want to try and push my passions onto him, but I want to be able to connect better with him. I see couples all the time saying that they are married to their best friend and I want that.

This is the only time I feel selfish for attention.

My whole life I have just been floating from friend group to friend group. I have made friends everywhere, some very very close friendships, but I don't think I've ever found someone that connects with me completely or where I felt like I completely belong. Most of my Christian friends don't share other passions with me and most of the people I want to be close to that have the same interests don't share my religious beliefs.

This is the only time I hate myself, when I'm selfish for friendship because I wasn't invited somewhere.
But...this will all not matter soon, because my rare moment of depression is soon over and I will go back to my happy and mostly indifferent self with plenty of friends and people that care about me.

What is social?

                A big debate among people of all ages and backgrounds is whether social media is making us more or less social as a society. There really does not seem to be a definite answer as to which side of the argument is more right. More arguments have been made that it makes us less social, but I will play devil’s advocate and say that it helps us be more social.

            Webster’s dictionary describes the adjective “social” as follows:

“ : relating to or involving activities in which people spend time talking to each other or doing    enjoyable things with each other

: liking to be with and talk to people: happy to be with people

: of or relating to people or society in general”

This definition had me thinking. None of those specifically say having one-on-one conversations in person with people. Many will claim that social media, such as Facebook, is an excuse to not physically visit or call friends and family. While, that might be true, that doesn't mean this makes people anti-social. They still make efforts to communicate and maintain relationships with those friends and family. If they were truly not social, they wouldn't be friends on Facebook or talking to people in any way. I personally have family members that do not have any form of social media and I only hear from them when I see them at family gatherings and even then they don’t seem like they want to be there. These are the types of people I consider to be anti-social.

 The part of the definition that helps my argument the most is the last part “of or relating to people or society in general”. These days it is rare when someone does not have a Facebook account, even more rare when they do not own a cellphone. This rarity is because society as a whole is using these social media platforms, then the people that choose to not involve themselves with social networking sites or apps seem like social outcasts to the rest of us. Society evolves more and more over the years. When we are all connecting on the same media, we develop relationships, therefore we are still being social. That is not to say that people without internet or smartphones are not social people, it is just that they are making harder efforts of making conversation and relationships with people than they rest of us that chose the easy and efficient way.

One of the main arguments against social media is that when people are in a room together, they often end up on their smartphones and not talking to each other. What do people usually do when they are on their phones? They are usually being social with other people that are not there with them. Society has become more social, just in different ways. You can still have meaningful conversations and not be right next to the person. As someone currently in a long distance relationship, I have become a big advocate for maintaining relationships not based on physical presence. Of course, it is hard for a relationship to not have reassuring physical aspects, but a relationship should not be based solely on physical interaction. It makes you feel closer when you talk about your fears, dreams and goals with someone who actually cares. On the reverse, you can be sitting next to someone and not say anything but still show that you’re being social by physically being with them. Part of the definition simply says “happy to be with people”. You wouldn't physically stay around someone if you were not happy or at least comfortable to be there. Some of my friends try to make the argument that they are not social because they have trouble with phone conversations and would rather type something out than say it in person. This does not come off as not social to me. If they were not social, they would not care about trying to convey a message to someone or not want to connect at all. These friends are also in a club on campus. Saying that you are not social but becoming part of a club is ironic. A club is the epitome of social, people of similar interests coming together to connect. They may not physically interact and have one-on-one conversations with these club members, but being there and enjoying activities together is social.

Molly Reynolds, a writer for the Huffington Post, made a good point in an article she wrote over this topic. “Reading or hearing about something will never (and SHOULD never) replace really connecting with others through shared experiences. New social media networks are starting to pick up on this trend -- using their platform as a tool to allow people to have real life experiences.”(Reynolds) Some of these new platforms include an app that allows people to connect with people nearby in their area that show similar interests, a social exercise app that allows people to connect with their friends to show weight goals and updates when your friend is working out or has achieved a goal to get you motivated to complete your goal and encourages exercising together. There are many social apps like these that help people connect in real life.

I also believe that without social media, many people would not have friends. It is hard to connect with people in your area when you have nothing in common with the people around you. Social media helps people with similar interests to connect, which usually ends up with them meeting in person. Once people of a certain fandom or lifestyle have found others like them on the internet, the next thing they want to do is meet up. Society is not spiraling into an anti-social abyss of loners that don’t want friends, it is always changing and finding ways of connecting and being social in different ways.

Reference:

  Reynolds, Molly. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/molly-reynolds/is-social-media-actually-_b_4867841.html. 

First SXSW experience (as a volunteer)

For Spring Break I had the wonderful opportunity to attend SXSW as a volunteer for music panels.

I finally got the motivation to apply and follow through with becoming a volunteer. Figured it was time to "be an adult" and make important decisions like being responsible. I attended all pre-meetings and even asked to reschedule a midterm to attend a mandatory pre-conference walk-thru scheduled on the same night. I wanted to recap the volunteer experience as well as the stuff I attended with my music badge perk throughout the week.

Music panels for the music aspect of SXSW began later in the week starting on Wednesday and running through Saturday, all of which music panel volunteers had to work 9am - 6pm.
Before my actual shifts started, that Tuesday I went and dropped off my stuff at a cousin's house that I would be staying with for the duration of SXSW and then went to pick up my volunteer credentials and music badge perk. Most SXSW volunteers worked for a perk or some sort, whether it be just an artist wristband for minimal hours or one of the badges (interactive, music, film, gold and platinum) which all vary on how many shifts or hours you work depending on the crew you work in. Since music panel volunteers all work the same shifts and hours, 60hrs, we were eligible for a badge and only could get platinum if returning volunteer and/or recommended by staff for a platinum badge. I settled for music badge of course, because I was mainly interested in music industry and having priority access to all live music venues.
After getting situated with credentials in the Registration area, I was on my way to find food and I ran into (almost literally) one of the acts I was eager to see later that night. South Korean DJ Hitchhiker. He was clad in his reflective geometric "space suit", which before that moment I did not know actually existed as a wearable suit. I thought that it was strictly a digitized visual for music videos, but no there he was in the suit making his way down the hall to registration. He was accompanied by an entourage of Korean managers/body guards, photographers, and curious on-lookers who probably didn't even know who he was and just wanted an interesting selfie or snapchat. I wanted to let him know right away that I was a fan (granted not a huge one or dedicated one at that moment), but chickened out and just waved and he waved right back at me. I had hoped that he would recognize me later for the showcases, but I'm unsure of the vision capabilities that the suit allowed. Never saw him without the suit as he performed both showcases in the suit. Or maybe I did and just didn't know it was him.

I have decided to make separate posts about the different showcases I went to, so for now I will just expand on the volunteer experience.

A Music Panel volunteer has its pros and cons.
Pros:

•  You are stationed in the convention center on the 4th and 3rd floors away from the hectic SXSW attendees until you have to venture out to find food on your break. 
• When bad weather hits, you don't have to worry too much because you are inside. 
• You are surround by interesting professionals in the music industry as well as a few famous artists. 
• There's a lot of interesting and informational topics on the panels you are helping with.

Cons:

• Since most panels are only open to people with SXSW Music Badges, you don't see that many famous people or variety of SXSW attendees.
• Also because you are inside all day, you are disconnected with things going on in the streets, such as running into celebrities.
• You have to go out of the building to get food that is covered by your food pass on your break and sometimes run out of time because the long lines.  
• You can't interact with famous people while on shift. I wanted to take pics of Snoop Dogg and Arcade Fire, but that's nono.

There were many other aspects about Music Panels that I didn't mention, but those seemed most important. 

Your job as a music panel volunteer basically consisted of meeting in the green room in the morning with everyone else and then going to your assigned panel room for the rest of the day. There was a folder with name placement cards and a list of all the panels in that room for the day and who was on the panel. You met with the panelists and made sure everyone was there before the panel, if someone didn't show up or someone else came as a replacement, you made the necessary changes. You also had to make sure the techs for the room knew if the panelist needed help with the presentation and sound before the panel time.Then one of the volunteers assigned to the room would bring the panelists to the room 5 minutes before it started while other volunteers had been getting things ready in the room and scanning the credentials of the panel attendees. It was all pretty simple stuff.

 My favorite day was being assigned as a green room helper. I sat at the sign in table for panelists and checked off who came in and made sure they got refreshments and that no volunteer touched the refreshments. Also, I made sure that the tables were tidy when panelist came and left things behind. It was while working in the green room that I saw Arcade Fire (and Will from Arcade Fire taking off his shoes and propping up his feet), and The WHO and Blondie's manager. 

I was also able to work the keynote speaker panel, which just so happened to be Snoop Dogg this year. Unfortunately, we didn't get to meet him, but it was still cool being in his presence and hearing him speak. I was on crowd control and made sure people were sitting or standing in the back and not on the sides. I felt a little powerful then, telling people where to go. haha.

If I'm still in the area for SXSW next year, I'll definitely be on the Music Panel crew again.

Motivation.

I've been putting this off way too long.

I was going to write more reviews of Japanese restaurants I visited in Japan...that didn't happen.
I was going to make a post before I came back to the U.S....that didn't work out.
I was going to write about my boyfriend of now a little over a year in Japan and how that happened...nope.

I will get inspiration or an idea of what to write about, but I'd be too tired or busy when I got home this past semester. Writing is hard work. I don't know how all these bloggers do it. Thinking up witty things to tell people who are willing to read and then actually sitting down and writing it out, some even brainstorm and do rough drafts. As I am the epitome of lazy, I don't do that. My biggest flaw is my laziness, I blame it on no motivation. Well it may just be a combination of both.

I think for this post...it will be just me rambling on about my shortcomings and disappointments to myself. Or even my personal thoughts and hopes for the future.

I hope I can get some kind of internship, preferably paid, this coming semester. Just need to get motivated and actively look for one. I just keep getting scared about driving places or actually going out and getting more obligations. I'll be putting a slight tamper on my social life. Many times I frustrated myself because I would let some people down because I would yet again over book myself because all I want to do is please people and be with all my friends every chance I get.
My grades didn't suffer much, but they could have been better. 2 A's and 2 B's. A lot of people were struggling to pass and I was there just being a social butterfly or working.

Although, I have noticed something since I've been back here. Usually, I would jump at the mention of a party or hanging out with friends. Now, it takes me a while to decide if I want to go or not. Also, I would usually want to go out with friends dancing or the like, but now I don't see the point. I still like dancing, but it isn't much fun when you don't try to get all dressed up to be noticed by guys.

 The reason for the change?

I left my heart in Japan and I only want him to look at me and visa-versa.
I'm not saying that I regret getting into a LDR (long distance relationship), it's just hard and has definitely changed me. Every time I go out with my friends, I just wish he were there with me. I wish he were with me every moment of the day, actually.

It has also awoken something in me that wants to start seriously thinking about my future. I wonder if I can get a job in Japan to be with him; there's always teaching English. I still would like to do something with my major of PR in my interests of Asian entertainment. But it is hard trying to figure out how I will get there. Which is also what stops me from actively pursuing internships. I want to be able to find some kind of internship that is in the entertainment business but is connected to Japan or Korea or both. The closest thing I can think of is to volunteer for SXSW, but that seems really limited and competitive. Plus, Austin traffic scares me and having to drive there a couple of days out of a week for something I'm not getting paid for makes me wonder if it is even worth it. Will this experience seriously help me with my career goal. I mean it wouldn't hurt to try.

I guess we'll see if the motivation comes to me try and write a cover letter and apply.

たっくんのメレーちゃん　(Takkun's Melay-chan) his name for me and mine for him.

テゴマスの青春～My Biggest Dream Come True!~

Debut (top) to now (bottom) as I've seen them

Welp.
My dream came true today. I finally got to see Tegomassu in person, while being on first row in front of stage. My favorite singer EVER knows my existence and waved AT ME twice and I'm pretty sure he read my sign and gave me a thumbs up during the first song when he looked my way. I was so close it was unreal. I legit cried when I first saw them and heard their voices when the side curtains dropped and only the few of us on the side could see them. I cried throughout the whole first song. Leading up to the concert in the day I became tired and very very hungry and couldn't get excited and for pretty much all of the concert I had a massive headache, but that didn't matter when I saw them, it finally hit me and I became excited all at once I got overwhelmed became nauseous and started crying.

Seriously never thought I would have the opportunity to go to their concert. I had dreamed about it for 8+ years saying "If I ever do make it to Japan, I have to find myself at a Johnny's concert and hopefully NewS" Well, look at me now. I went and saw my favorite duo in the world and from the front row at that! I still can't believe this. I kept telling my friend that in Japanese as soon as the lights went out and the reality set in. As mentioned in the first paragraph, we had been waiting in line for about 3 hours for goods (which I couldn't buy anyway because I'm poor) and even though I had eaten lunch, I slowly got hungrier and hungrier, but because I'm extremely broke I couldn't buy food. When we first got in line, the sun was out and there wasn't a cloud in sight, so it was really bright and hot. Then once we made it to a different side of the building the sun was out of view and the wind got stronger and it became really cold. By the time we made it inside the lobby of the arena, I was so tired and was developing a massive headache. Its a good thing my friend bought me an onigiri, because I probably could have passed out for the first time in my life. I didn't even have water to take headache medicine with. Also, the mass of people was overwhelming as well. So leading up to the concert, I couldn't get hyped up, it also hadn't really set in yet.

This concert was way more important to me than seeing any Kpop band ever. Here's a little backstory for you. In like the 7th grade my best friend and I became really big fans of Jpop, especially Johnny's Entertainment artists. I can't remember details, of course, about how we found them or why we chose NEWS as our favorite band, but these things just happen. As soon as I had learned their names and personalities, my focus was immediately on Masuda Takahisa (Massu). I think it was around the time that we became fans of NEWS that Tegomassu (the subgroup consisting of members Tegoshi Yuya and Masuda Takahisa) debuted. I fell in love with them ever so much more. Their voices match perfectly and they have one of the best harmonies I've ever heard. Massu's voice is so unique, there's really nothing like it, and what really gets me is his smile and eye-smile. Tegoshi's voice is amazing as well, also his vocal range is high.

Even as we went to our seats and stood there in shock about the position of where we were and how close we were didn't get me super excited. It wasn't until the lights went out and the side curtain dropped and I saw them in the dim lights before the main screen in front of them fell singing the into to the first song that it hit me. This duo that I've loved so much and had only seen on a computer screen (not so often because Johnny's strict copyrights and being almost completely shut off from the rest of the world) from the other side of the world are now in front of me in the same room. I didn't just tear-up, I went into full blown tears rolling down the cheeks can't see crying. I had cried a bit when I saw TVXQ in Las Vegas two years ago, but not like this. I wasn't this close to TVXQ as I was to Tegomassu.

Side stage they where Massu waved
and made direct eye-contact. (Angle from sitting) 

The concert was like none I'd ever been to before. It was so chill. Fans don't scream, because Tegomassu is a ballad group and they focus on showcasing their voices, therefore fans want to listen well. For the upbeat songs we all stood up of course and waved lights sticks to the beats and jumped up on certain beats when they did and things like that. Or on the songs that they would leave center stage and go to the sides, we would yell at the member who wasn't currently singing so they would look our way. Which for one song Massu had finally come to our side and he wasn't singing for a bit and my friends and I yelled his name and he looked at each of our faces and waved. The part that I did not realize they would do is for 3 songs we all sat with the penlights off and absolutely no talking. The first song they sang while like this was completely without mics and were accompanied only by a non-amplified acoustic guitar and a melodica (keyboard that you blow into thingy). It was so mind blowing how quiet it was and we could hear their natural voices. I wonder if the very back could hear well. Good thing I was in the front because it was absolutely perfect. It was a wonder that I didn't cry during that. I just closed my eyes and felt like it was just me in a room with them singing to me. Magical. The next song they scooted their chairs back a bit and were surrounded by candle
sticks of different heights which were actually all electric. Tegoshi lights a real candle in front of him and Massu before sitting down and the candles all around them flicker on. This ballad they sang with the actual band playing behind them again, but they still sat and sang softly and at the end Massu blows out the
candle and the rest turn off. Another magical song.

Then for two songs and two different times they went backstage and were then wheeled out into the crowds on moving platform things. The first time they were sitting in bowls with huge chopsticks while singing their debut song Miso Soup. The second time they came out sitting in the pocket? of the character that Massu drew to be the mascot for this concert tour which I am thinking is a kangaroo? Lol it is the closest animal I can come up with. Each time they were wheeled to the back of the arena and stood on a stage that came down from the ceiling. Unfortunately, they sang my favorite song (Kiss~Kaerimichi no Love Song) from that stage at the back. During that song though, they stopped singing and made us sing. I'm glad it was that song, because I know it by heart. It is actually one of the first Japanese songs I ever learned all the words to. The second time Massu waved at me directly was when he was coming back from the back of the arena on the character he made. They weren't singing then and were trying to focus on as many fans as they could. Well, with are super awesome luck, I happen to be right next to the path that they enter and exit on. Massu looked straight down at me, smiled his heart-melting smile and waved directly at me. I felt like I could just reach up and high-five him.
Despite having a massive headache throughout the concert and becoming nauseous at times, this is probably one of the best days ever and I'll never forget. I just wish that I could've had money to buy goods for keepsake and food to keep me from becoming insanely hungry.

"Fan from Texas"

Because of my fan-made personalized sign, I got noticed by Massu straight away with a double thumbs up and then cameramen filmed me during the concert at times. Afterward, one came up to me and asked about my sign and then asked me and my friends if he could film us for the DVD. HOLY CRAP! I am possibly going to be on a Tegomassu concert DVD. I really hope I played my gaijin card well and will get put on the DVD! I tried my best to use Japanese with him, but because I suck AND my concentration level was at 5% because of physical condition and concert overwhelmedness, I'm pretty sure my broken Japanese was worse than I thought it was. Oh well.

So after arriving home, I was so overcome with many feels and emotions I was just numb. I quickly drank so water and took a migraine pill to calm down. I could barely speak to people. I was to the point where I was so hungry I was nauseous and so tired. I knew I couldn't just go to bed without eating something. I waited around for a bit and then tried stomaching some leftover rice with nori and okonomiyaki sauce cause that's all I had, but I couldn't really eat. After the pill started kicking in, my friend gave me some fruit and I immediately felt better. Now, I'm at the point where I'm wide awake and wasting sleep time writing this long post. It's a good thing I wrote this now because otherwise I'd procrastinate like always and forget all my feels and have trouble recalling things.

Well...guess that's it for now.

I'll try this thing called sleep.


~Love,

The Happiest Girl In The World Despite Being Poorer Than Dirt

Haru&Haru Review

This small cafe would go unnoticed unless you know about it. It is a french toast cafe run by a cute, fairly young Japanese couple and a few other workers. The location is right next to a railroad crossing and across from a Family Mart near Midorigaoka station in the Meguro ward of Tokyo. My friend from France wanted to try it out since we pass it every day on our walk from the station to our dorm. I had paid not much attention to it previously except for it's interesting exterior decor and the name which reminded me of a Korean boy-band (Big Bang) song.  She also wanted to see how Japanese take on french toast, and being French she says that there are not restaurants for french toast in France because that is something you make at home with your baguettes that have gone stale.
The food there is exceptional, but a bit on the pricey side. They serve gourmet french toast of sorts. Generally, you can order a french toast plate with a variety of toppings ranging from the seasonal fruits to regular menu choices like chocolate and banana or roasted almond for example.

Mango French Toast With Iced Coffee

The french toast plates come with two slices of authentic french baguette and the topping (most have a scoop of vanilla ice cream as well) and along with your meal you can have coffee hot or iced or tea hot or iced. I was not sure what to expect when I went there for the first time, but I was thoroughly impressed by the plate presentation and the overall taste over the food. It definitely had my French friend's approval because we decided to come back many more times.

On our second visit (I think), I brought my friend back on her birthday. I told them that it was her birthday and they wrote her a special message on her plate that she ordered. Also, because my friend doesn't like chocolate they allowed her to change the one she wanted to a caramel topping instead of chocolate. While there for her birthday, the couple's son was brought into the shop and the mom brought him over to talk to us. She tried to get him to tell my friend happy birthday, but since he's a little over a year old he got confused and thought it was his birthday and acted all shy after that.

To say that the service is great and the staff are friendly is an understatement. There have been very few restaurants that take the time to learn and remember people's names and genuinely care about how someone is doing. They know me and a few of my fellow exchange students by name. My favorite thing is when we pass by and they see us, they make an effort to wave at us or even come out of the shop to say "Welcome Home" because they know that we live close to there. I enjoy leaving out for the day in the morning and they tell us "Good Morning" and coming back from a long day to be greeted by them if they are not to busy with customers. One time my friend and I were low on money but we had not been in a while and wanted to go in and see them again, so we just went for coffee. It was near closing time and my friend and I were pretty much the only customers there. We had a nice long talk with the workers and she even showed us a video of her son eating cake for the first time on his dad's birthday. Since we had not ordered any food, they gave us free french toast while we were there talking. That was so unexpected. Since then, there have been other times that my friends and I have been given things for free.

Complimentary French Toast With
Cappuccino 

New Years Greeting Card 

"Sweet Shanghai" Hot Herbal Tea

Recently, I was asked to help make an English menu. Their menus are hand written and are all in Japanese. The owner and one I mostly talk to expressed to me that foreigners come there all the time and ask if they have English menus. My friend and I tried our best to translate things as best we could, but my Japanese skills are not that great. She ended up translating most of it with her phone and asked us if it made sense. As compensation for helping, they let us taste the topping that is currently in season as well as some complimentary herbal tea.

Hamburg Plate (Fried Egg on a
Hamburger Patty)

Strawberry And "Sakura-An"
(cherry-paste)

Haru&Haru Quiche Set

 Every time I go, I order something different and each time I have been completely satisfied with the taste. I am excited to try other items on the menu and decide on a favorite. If you are ever in the area, I do highly recommend my favorite little French themed cafe that makes you feel at home.
http://haruandharu.com/

Perks of Being in a Fanclub (UKISS Experiences)

The ridiculous fees almost out-way the perks, but it is still worth it to me...maybe.

Since I became a Japanese resident, I was able to join Japanese fanclubs. Why you may ask? Because if you want to be able to see your favorite Kpop/Jpop groups while in Japan, you HAVE to be a fanclub member. Very exclusive, I know. It is so much easier in America where all you really have to do is wait until tickets go on sale online and then click buy after you have put in your info. In Japan, you first have to sign your soul away for a year (fill out a bunch of confusing info), pay the equivalent of your first born (jk it's actually about $60 per year) and then wait until tickets go on sale, enter the lottery, wait to see if you won a ticket, go pay for it, get a non-entry ticket from a local convenient store that was vending the tickets which may involve putting in all your info yet again just to print it out and pay at the cash register, wait for the actual tickets to come in the mail, then go to the venue and have to pay $5 more just to get in but it includes a drink. This is what I went through to go to the Ukiss fanmeet on December 13th. 

Venue For UKISS Fan Meet

Waiting In Line For Fan Goods

That is another perk about Japanese fanclubs though, fanmeets. You may not actually be close enough to talk to them or for them to see you, but in some ways it is cooler than a concert. They actually perform songs anyway, so basically its like a fun mini-concert as well. Even though I was standing in the middle of the crowd for both times of the fanmeet and my feet were hurting so bad by the end of the day from waiting in the merch line for hours and then standing for hours for two fanmeets, I had a great experience. Ukiss were hilarious on the stage. I even got AJ's attention for a bit when I yelled "I LOVE YOU AJ" (yes in English). He stumbled on what he was about to say and kinda pointed in my direction. 

Cushion and Blanket (can also be a cape)

Cushion/Blanket in Cute Form (lol)

 This was also another great perk of fan meets. FAN GOODS! Although, they cost quite a pretty penny as well, it is still something you can technically only get at the event. They also sell out of everything pretty quick too.

Free Stuff!!

Not only do you get the chance for cheaper tickets to concerts and events, you also get access to the exclusive fan site. On the fan sites, they announce pretty much everything the band is doing and upcoming events (all in Japan of course) as well as exclusive pictures and videos done by the band just for the fan-club member and not released to the general public. One problem for me is, it is all in Japanese. So much kanji I just don't even try to read it most of the time. Google translate is my best friend. It usually makes sense most of the time when I translate it with Google translate. 

You also get sent Christmas cards apparently. Ukiss's was more elaborate.

Because you have access to the fan site and receive plenty of news emails, you have the chance of going to special live events for free by lottery. I actually applied for a live Ukiss event that was for FujiTV illumination event for Christmas. I ended up winning! All I had to do was print out the email and bring my member card and another form of ID. I finally was able to print the email and then made it to the event. Like for anything I go to, I didn't give myself enough time to find the event site and figure out things I needed to do once I got there. Once I finally found out how to get to the roof top thing, the line for buying the new released CD was super long and I wasn't sure what to do or where to line up for my entry number thing. I decided to just stay in line to buy the CD for a chance to get to high-five Ukiss. By the time I had bought the CD they had been letting people into the area in front of the stage. I then noticed people had entry ticket things and not the email...I then realized I was supposed to go to some area that I never figured out where it was and show my credentials to get the entry ticket. Of course, by the time I noticed that, they were already like 50 numbers after my entry number. As I was mentally beating myself up, I saw the van carrying Ukiss drive up to the stage I went to a hedged area behind the area where fans were entering in front of the stage. I decided to just stand there at the back on top of a parking block that gave me a nice lift over the crowd in front of me. I was glad to be back there actually. I had room to breathe and hold up my fansign without blocking someone's view. I wasn't sure if Ukiss could actually read it from that far away, but I liked to think that they could because I had attached a shoelaces lights around the edge of my sign to make it stand out. I was also glad I had it because when I actually got to high-five all of Ukiss through a very face-paced line for like 3 seconds, Eli read my sign out and laughed. 

My View For Live FujiTV Event
(was better than it seems here)

 


The high touch event went by so fast I can't remember much. I really remember what Eli said, and then Kevin's beautiful flawless complexion and super cute smile and "Oh hi!" when I said "Hi Kevin" in the most American way possible.
Overall, I think my fanclub experiences have been pretty successful and enjoyable.
Since Kpop is becoming more and more popular in the States, I really hope that someone puts something together like fanclubs in the States. Maybe with more benefits than restrictions.
Until next time...
~Laila

IT IS ALREADY DECEMBER?!?!

Time has gone by too quickly since being here.

Yet again, too much time has passed since I last blogged. I should really get better at this since this is kind of what I might go into as a career. PR/Journalism type stuff.
Anyway...there's waaay too much to tell. I don't even know where to begin. The dorm is great. We are really like a big family hanging out, eating lunch at the biggest table at school, even having little disputes here and there. I couldn't have asked for a better group of people to spend a year (although only a semester for some ><;) with while here in Japan. The only bad thing though is that we use English way too much. We are all on different levels of Japanese and from all different countries, so speaking English is the biggest thing we have in common besides being "gaijin" (foreigner slang). Even though I feel closer to some more than others, I still try to hang out and go out with everyone.

Since time has gone by without me actually sitting down and writing my experiences, I'm taking the time to make myself start. This will be my starting off post to get me back into the flow of writing again. I'm also doing this now because I'm procrastinating writing a paper or two for my Kabuki class.
Yeah...need to write...writes a blog post instead! SUPER PRODUCTIVE!! щ(ಥДಥщ)


Anyway. I'm running low on money, like dangerously low, like how am I going to get food low, like I can't go there because the train costs too much low, like omg i'm going to be stuck in yokohama and can't get home low...yeah, so I should be able to make more time to sit and write things. I will need to make specific posts about specific events, places, and people. 
Seeing as it is 3am and I haven't gotten anything done on the paper I started, I'm going to bed and will try again tomorrow. Good thing these papers don't have a specific deadline each time (actually no, that's a bad thing because I'm puttin it off way too long. ugh.)

So stay tuned, until i can get my act together. 


_Laila

The First Week of My Dream- The Seinos

  Luckily, I befriended one of the most kindest Japanese girls that came to Texas State.
   Risa had spent Thanksgiving break in Texas with my crazy family, so we became closer after that.    

I was wanting to somehow come to Japan earlier than I had to because I wanted to get used to things. I asked her if it would be ok to stay with her and her family for a little bit. I didn't want to impose, but since she had stayed with my family, I hoped it would be ok.




Well... here I am day 6 in her family's house. The Seinos are a very kind and fun family. I have been staying in Risa's older sister's room. They have helped me to do so many things in my first week of Japanese life. I wasn't expecting any of it. Risa and I went to a really big shrine in Kamakura on my first full day here. It was an experience I had been hoping to try. Granted my shoes gave me a blister on the ball of my foot that is still there, but overall it was a nice experience. I even did an omikuji (oracle thing that you tie on a rope). Later that evening, her Mom and Grandma dressed me in a yukata and we went to take pictures at a tiny shrine by their house. Her mom also put up my hair and put pretty hair decorations in it.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              

I have eaten almost every Japanese food that I love and wanted the experience of actually eating it in Japan. Risa's mom and Grandma feed me big Japanese breakfasts. So far I've eaten Soba, Ramen, Tonkatsu, Gyoza, Okonomiyaki, Karage, Somen, Sushi, and even Kakigori. I'm so glad that I came early to experience a bit of Japanese family life. It has also helped me become more comfortable with the Japanese transit systems. One of my favorite things is watching Japanese tv. The programs are so interesting and it is helping me with getting used to hearing Japanese. Although, it is a little frustrating because I want to watch the dramas but there is a lot I don't understand because no subtitles. I really like seeing all the singers and actors that I know on commercials and advertisements everywhere. Arashi is for sure everywhere, and even SMAP is still going strong! YAY JOHNNY'S ENTERTAINMENT!

I was able to meet up with former TXST exchange students and a Texas native Texas State Student who is now living and working in Japan. It was really fun to hang out with them again and to experience my first izakaya. An izakaya is a type of Japanese restaurant-bar. The have this certain time where you can order as many drinks as you want for a set price. We also ordered different types of dishes to share. Since I'm not much of a drinker and I just turned 21 this past January, I don't have a taste for alcohol especially beer. I don't really have the want to drink or get drunk, but for social purpose and experience I tried a Japanese beer with them and the Japanese "cheers". I only drink about half of the beer. I did, however have two mixed drinks. A kiwi sour and strawberry sour, they were pretty good. 

 I also don't drink much because of my faith and upbringing. Drinking, especially excessively, is a big no-no in the Baptist faith. Not only that, I just don't care for drinking. I can have fun without being drunk.






Another great experience for me was the onsen. Japanese hot spring and public bath. It wasn't as uncomfortable and weird as I thought it would be. People kept telling me: "You know you have to be naked right?" "You can't wear a swimsuit." LOL OF course I know people! I know what goes on at an onsen, I'm prepared. I feel like a lot of Americans wouldn't be able to do it and have bad thoughts about it or even feel it is unsanitary. It wasn't like that at all. Of course it is kind of weird to be naked in front of random women and girls you don't know, especially as a foreigner, but I didn't feel like I was being gawked at or anything. It is a good, free feeling to walk around naked and get in and out of hot waters. There was even a salt sauna thing. You went in a hot room and at the door you grab a handful of salt and bring it with you to a marble seat by a facet. You rub the salt all over your body. There was even a tv inside the salt sauna room to watch while you scrub yourself down. The outside onsens were nice because even though it was middle of summer, there was a nice breeze to cool you off when you got out. Inside, there are different "shower" stations. You sit on a little plastic seat thing in front of a mirror and use a removable shower head or a facet and bucket. The onsen provides general shampoo, conditioner and body soap or you can bring your own or buy some from the lobby. So after all the getting in and out of hot springs and jet baths you can actually clean yourself. You go back to the locker room area where you first came in and got undressed and they provided hair dryers and mirrors to get dressed.

This was a little porch area outside the locker room where you could smoke I guess. We went out here to take a picture so we wouldn't have naked people in the background. Also, I've seen in dramas that after the onsen you drink cold milk. Risa's mom bought me some from a vending machine. I felt so authentic.

Not sure what else I can really put in to words at this point. My time has been pretty authentic Japanese as a foreigner can get I think. I love taking my shoe off in places. I liked seeing a tennis match going on with college students in a semi-rural part of town next to a local famous ice-cream shop. I like people watching on the train and at stations.
Today, is my last day at the Seino's though. I will be heading to my dorm soon to meet up with the other international students. I just hope that I can keep dwelling in authentic Japanese culture and using as much Japanese as I can.
That's all for now...
The journey in the land of the Rising Sun has begun.
-メレーア

The First Week of My Dream- The Arrival

I never thought I would actually be here. I mean, for years I have dreamed of being in this place that I have studied about passionately. One of my life goals was to come here not just to visit, but to spend at least a year.

Well...I'm here. In Japan. For a year.

The plane rides to get here weren't bad actually. I had already been on a plane recently, so I was ok with it. Even though lugging around baggage all by yourself is a bit of a pain. I had like a 3 hour layover in LAX, which was good because I had to get checked-in with Japan Airlines and eat lunch. There were already lots of Japanese people around me. After I ate, I sat in a corner by a window and there was a cute Japanese family with a toddler boy and like a 5 year old boy. They were taking pictures and being so cute. I kept wanting to try and start using Japanese, but I chickened out. Even though it was LAX, in the international flights area and on Japan Airlines I was getting curious looks. It was a little uncomfortable at times, but I was prepared for this.
My long flight on Japan Airlines was actually really neat. I was reminded of a J-drama called "Attention Please". It is about Japanese flight attendants, so I was reminded repeatedly. Each seat had a personal t.v. in the back of the seat in front of it and a remote. I thought I was going to have to entertain myself for the whole flight. I had no idea that there would be an entertainment center in front of me. The tv thing did soo many things. You could watch the flight map and times for destination and stats and stuff like that, Japanese and American tv shows, all kinds of movies from lots of countries, listen to music (all kinds), play games, and shop the airline catalog. I ended up watching two Japanese movies (with subtitles of course) to start practicing a bit, I also listened to Jpop. I actually didn't sleep much at all. I wasn't sleepy. I dozed off for maybe 30 minutes and then they turned the lights on to serve our second meal. The meals weren't too bad either. They had lots of side dishes that there had to be something there that everyone likes. I even used a bit of Japanese to the flight attendant and the business man beside me.

I didn't get emotional until I saw the Japan coastline for the first time. 

I had to stop myself from actually crying because I didn't want to embarrass myself in front of the Japanese business men beside me. Good thing I had a window seat. I stared down at Japan getting closer and closer until we landed. I was smiling so big at everything I could see, from the cars going on opposite side from America to the farming lands. After landing, everything went by in a blur. I was surprised I made it through everything so quickly. I went through immigration and then I wasn't sure what to do next, so I went to the bathroom because I hadn't gone the whole duration of the flight. After that I was going towards customs but I realized I had to have the rest of my luggage first. I saw that there were carts to use by the baggage claim. I put that to good use because lugging around 3 suitcases and a backpack and turtle and blanket all by yourself in a big airport is a little difficult. The cart was my friend. lol I had it while I exchanged money and I even got to take it down an escalator to buy my Suica card (used to charge money on to use for train and bus fares, also some stores accept it) and N'ex ticket (Narita Express train) and had to leave it at a spot right before I got on the platform to wait for the Narita Express which came a few minutes after I got there. It was a good thing that there was hardly anyone on the train, because I really had to wrestle with my bags. They have spots when you board to leave your luggage, but all the bottom and middle ones were taken and I couldn't lift my big suitcase high enough for the others and the train was pulling out. I ended up just going to my seat(it is assigned when you buy it for N'EX) and since no one was beside me I put the bags there and in-front of me. I couldn't really enjoy my first train ride ever because ever since Narita airport I realized I couldn't contact Risa to make sure she was there to meet me. I was freaking out and trying so hard to figure out how to connect to Wi-Fi...but it wasn't free. I finally gave up and just rode the rest of the way to Yokohama trying to calm down and enjoy my first Japanese purchase...a coke from the train snack cart.

I got off the Narita Express and just kinda stood around the platform and looked around. I wasn't sure where to go or what to do. I went downstairs from the platform and just stood by a random pole about to breakdown. I looked up as I heard my name called out. Risa was coming towards me in front of me. I couldn't believe she found me so quickly. God definitely had a hand in that. I hugged her and almost started crying, I was so happy and relieved. I had to take a few deep breaths before we continued on and ate at Yokohama station. Everything else started to fall into place after that. I'm easily catching on to things and I haven't had trouble with much of anything yet.  

Next I'll talk about the rest of my first week.
Until then...
Byebye!    ~Laila~

First Surgery

August 15th at 10:30 am...
I had my first surgery.

It was only oral surgery, but still, I was sedated using an IV and had all 4 wisdom teeth extracted. 
That was the scariest part about it though...the being put to sleep part.
It kept freaking me out wondering what was going to happen and what it would be like. Would I just fall asleep all of a sudden and start dreaming? Would it be just darkness and I could still hear what was going on and just not feel anything or move? 
They were right when they say you don't remember anything. 

The last thing I remember was the Surgeon trying to put the IV in my arm and I told him that they usually take blood samples from my hand cause I have better veins there. He moved it to my hand and he said "You'll feel a little pinch again." I closed my eyes and winced this time as he put it in and he then said "Ah. There it is." With my eyes still closed the nurse told me to open my mouth and she put in a rubber thing to keep my mouth open. I remember my throat feeling very dry and I wanted to swallow saliva but I couldn't because she put that thing in my mouth.  I was worried I would start to gag or choke as I suddenly felt my body tingling. 
The next thing I know, I'm in a sitting position and the nurse is helping me out of the chair while I'm sobbing with cotton in my mouth. I had no idea why I was crying. As they helped me to a recovery bed I heard another nurse call out that my mom was on the way to the back. I saw her when I laid down and sat beside me as a nurse was telling her that crying was a side effect of the sedation. Was my body crying because it knew that I had just went through a lot of pain? Weirdest feeling ever. I was like: "Is it really already over?" "An hour has passed? Where did the time go? I just closed my eyes. Why am I crying?"

It has been 3 days since the surgery and my jaw and cheeks are still a bit sore and tight.
The doctor had said that it was harder than he expected because my mouth is so small and my jaw is so tight. Did he have to break my jaw or something?!? I wonder if I was moaning and crying during the surgery. People are telling me they didn't have it this bad when they had their wisdom teeth removed. 

At least now I shouldn't be waking up with headaches and ear/jaw aches anymore because my wisdom teeth are gone and no longer causing infection. 
But now...I just want to eat normally again. ><;

-Laila

Asian Fest Adventures~

I was at an Asian Festival in San Antonio yesterday. My friends and I spent a lot of time trying to find cute Asian guys. We certainly found some and had great  and funny encounters. BUT there was this one Japanese guy that kept looking back at me every time I would see him and everywhere i would see him. My friends noticed him looking at me too. They kept trying to get me to talk to him, but IM A SCAREDY CAT! I can't go up to HOT ASIAN GUYS and talk to them. I was as red as a tomato and my heart was beating so fast. But i kept being like: NO! I can't talk to him! What do i say!?!? I'll cry! Stop it! Good he's walking away. HE MAKES ME KOKORO GO DOKIDOKI!!!  

So then finally, we thought we had seen him and his friends walk off and leave the place. BUT when we were sitting at a table they walked by and my friend said my name REALLY loud and kept hitting my arm, embarrassing me as he walked by and smiled at us. My friends were like: THIS IS FATE! HE DIDN'T LEAVE! HE WAS LOOKING FOR YOU! GO TALK TO HIM! Of course i didn't budge from that table, so two of my friends ran after him to bring him back to me. Well they did. Luckily, one of my friends takes Japanese with me, so I guess she knew enough to get the point across and his friends knew enough English to tell him. 

But while I was being awkward and introducing myself and talking to him, my phone rang cause my friend was trying to find where i was! This had actually happened earlier when we had run into him and my friends were  trying to get me to say something, but MY CRUSH called because he had come there too and he was wondering when I would be leaving and such. BUT I FELT BAD BECAUSE I WASN'T REALLY PAYING ATTENTION TO HIM THE WHOLE TIME AND ESPECIALLY WHEN HE CALLED CAUSE CUTE JAPANESE GUY WAS WALKING BY!! Not to mention i had just given my crush a "love letter" on Valentines day and he hasn't rejected or accepted me yet. He just seems to notice me more, i think. But anyway...back to me being super awkward and on the phone trying to give directions and get my friend to find me while cute Japanese guy was looking at me. I could hear my friends talking in the background behind me saying something like: "Yeah she thought he was attractive, but was too shy to say something." and the friend said something like: "Oh yeah he did too, but is also too shy to say it."

WAIT. HOLD UP. Did cute Japanese guy's friend just say that he found me attractive. WHAT THE EVERLOVING HECK?!?! HOW DID THIS EFFIN HAPPEN TO ME?! I REALLY ATTRACTIVE JAPANESE GUY THINKS IM CUTE?!!? What is life? I cant. im cry. 

So awkward convo was awkward  I even had to ask his name again. It was a mixture of broken Japanese and speaking English to his friend and his friend answering for him sorta. They walked off and i was flustered, but got up the courage to run after him and add me on Facebook. He was so surprised when I ran after him. UGGGGUUUUU HIS SMILE!!!!! ><

Yeah so i added him on FB and I found out his bday is Dec 25 (Christmas lol) 1990. And from his picture he posted of an airport, i figured out his here in Texas for business and only here for 2 months...or has only been here for 2 months. Still a little confused, but i know hes not a college student now. Just ahhhhhhh what. Idk where this will go or what will happen. Or about my crush too. Thankfully, he didn't get to see me interact with cute Japanese guy. But i still feel like I neglected him. IDK WHAT DO!!