I'm Over IT

There's a lot of things that I'm over now.

One: being sad about Jpop and quite possibly listening to Jpop in general. Basically all my favorite bands are breaking up, well not so much breaking up as having members leave. I just can't keep up with them anymore. Every time I try to go listen to a new song or rather watch a mv, it either doesn't work or makes me disappointed or sad. I just decided to focus on Kpop, which is immensely easy. I won't give up on Jpop totally, just...UGH I DONT EVEN KNOW! Next topic...

Two: I'm over my crushes (pshh yeah right). Well, one of them for sure since he is graduating. I've given up on him for a while now because I was never able to hang around him this semester. Ever since Ultimate Frisbee was cancelled I was able to let go of my feelings for him. Maybe not totally, but enough to where he wouldn't be on my mind all the time. And yeah, I'm giving a lot away right now, but I don't even care. He or possibly anyone associated with him won't even read this when I post it and the people that do read this might not even know him or will be able to figure out who it is. Plus, even if he were to read this, nothing would happen. Our interaction has been reduced to an awkward "Hi" whenever I do get a chance to see him, or rather we see each other. I would often see him around campus but he wouldn't see me. That may sound creepy, but that sort of thing happens when you have a crush. They just randomly appear wherever you are when you least expect it. And usually, you are too much of a coward to say anything. Not only that, but I felt I never really fit in with that group of people anyway. I love them dearly, don't get me wrong, but there were times where I felt like I wasn't wanted. I could never really say much without sounding dumb, because everything they all said was super witty and they just feed off each other's wittiness and friendship connection. It was really fun to feel excepted at first among this group of talented and funny people, but then the feeling slowly disappeared. I started struggling to be able to hang out with them. Being the youngest and least funny/witty you feel disconnected. Also, it didn't help that I don't have a car. I couldn't just show up and hang out like they all could with each other. I had to be a leech and ask them to get me or whatever. So I stopped when Ultimate stopped. I'm truly sad that most of you are graduating and I cherish every memory that I made with you, but now I guess it is time I focus on a different group and try to fit in somewhere else. I'm glad I got to be around you guys last Friday, even if it was only a tiny amount of time and was unfortunately cut short for me out of my control. Love you guys, but sadly, its over.
   
-I had planned for this post to be more quality, but my best ideas come to me when I'm trying to fall asleep and don't write them down. Then i forget. Sorry bout it.-
~MMK