Today was Vday. well technically yesterday, now. It was an ok day. Pretty lonely for the most part though. I wanted to spend time with a friend, but he had things to do. He always has things to do now and doesn't invite me. He doesn't even talk to me on his own now. This morning was the most we've talked in a while, and that was just a brief convo before class started. I miss him. He kinda seems mad at me, I hope i didnt do anything to him. He even had a dinner date with a Valentine tonight. Why does he get a Valentine, I thought he wasn't that type of guy. Im sure it was just the friend i know, but what if it wasn't? I wouldn't know because he doesn't hangout with me anymore. I pray for him all the time now. He doesn't know how much i really care for him, even if i don't agree with some things he believes in, or rather doesn't believe. My heart is broken for him most of the time. Friend...i miss you.
There's also someone else i miss.
I went to his facebook profile and wrote this on his wall, but didn't post it.
i love you. not sure how not sure why, but i do. you seem to get me, we have common interests as well. i feel like i can be myself around you. you are a Christian a Baptist at that. guys like you are hard to find. i feel safe and even wanted when im with you. could we be something more? Can we go further than holding hands? It took me close to 2 weeks before i held hands with my actual boyfriend, it only took the second time to spend a day with you and we aren't even dating. i wish you were here. i wish i knew you better. i wish you could touch me and hold me again...I hope im not rushing into this but i feel something different with you than my other crushes. could we have a future together? do you even feel the same way i do? i may not ever know. im scared to get close to you again because you'll bring me in just to push me away and tell me we should be friends for now. its for the best but i think its not what we both want. at least this is how i think you feel. these are things i want to say to you, but can't find the courage to and i dont think its the right time to say it. until next time...miss you.
That pretty much sums up how i feel about him. I don't know if he'll ever get to know those things. We'll see this summer, perhaps.
~Hoping to find love one day~
Laila
An informal and mostly personal blog. I am a Public Relations major, so I hope to use this more to practice writing, but that won't stop me from posting about my feelings and in a sometimes grammatically incorrect manner. :3
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
sceitseála: meliah.red wolf woman.
sceitseála: meliah.red wolf woman.: "meliah.red wolf woman."
My frand Laurin drew me! YAY!~ I love art. I love art so much that i hate it. This makes sense because i wish i was good at it. This also makes me miss my friends back home, and one that isn't back home and is closer than i thought. But either way my friends would draw me sometimes...cause they could. ><
My frand Laurin drew me! YAY!~ I love art. I love art so much that i hate it. This makes sense because i wish i was good at it. This also makes me miss my friends back home, and one that isn't back home and is closer than i thought. But either way my friends would draw me sometimes...cause they could. ><
Monday, February 7, 2011
Superbowl Sunday Funday~
As the title suggests, today was superbowl sunday. I'm never excited about the superbowl, but this time I was invited to a Bible study party thing. It was much fun. Great discussion with great people during Bible study. We read Acts chapter 3. I have heard this story many times before and even know a song about it. Its when Peter and John see the lame beggar at the gate called Beautiful and the whole "silver and gold have I none but such as I have I give thee. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, rise up and walk." (yes i just sang the song for that in my head. It's actually a kid's song, so its not known...i think.) A lot of things were discussed and I think it was an excellent time of fellowship and Bible study. Although, when I decided to talk HE had to walk through the door right during the middle of my schpill. I had been secretly wondering where he could be during the Bible study. Of course i was paying attention, but I just wondered what he does when this stuff happens. He went straight to his room. I don't understand why I like him. Apparently he isn't Christian which is not what im looking for. Maybe if he did like me or get with me I could influence him? WHAT am i thinking?!!?
1. that'll never happen
2. im sure im not his type
3. My friend has probably whitnessed to him many a time seeing as they are roommates and buddies from back home.
After, Bible study he would come out every once in a while to watch the super bowl a bit and then go back to his room. When he first came out, it looked like he had been crying. Even a girl said she heard him sound angry or upset on the phone. I was worried about him. I did manage to have small conversations with him, while everyone else seemed to kinda ignore him. But im just being...idk dumb. I thought i had given up on him, but apparently not. I guess because he's so Asian and so hott. WTH! I need to stop. Anyway, today was fun. And Glee was great. I need to go back and catch up on glee, even though i have a whole season and maybe half to watch. This dang bump/growth thing on my lower palm/wrist makes it painful to type. Gah im rambling. And i need to go to bed. Dang 8am class. Well, guess this is goodbye. Hope my roomate's freakin boyfriend leaves. He better not spend the night again. ><
Night love~
Laila
1. that'll never happen
2. im sure im not his type
3. My friend has probably whitnessed to him many a time seeing as they are roommates and buddies from back home.
After, Bible study he would come out every once in a while to watch the super bowl a bit and then go back to his room. When he first came out, it looked like he had been crying. Even a girl said she heard him sound angry or upset on the phone. I was worried about him. I did manage to have small conversations with him, while everyone else seemed to kinda ignore him. But im just being...idk dumb. I thought i had given up on him, but apparently not. I guess because he's so Asian and so hott. WTH! I need to stop. Anyway, today was fun. And Glee was great. I need to go back and catch up on glee, even though i have a whole season and maybe half to watch. This dang bump/growth thing on my lower palm/wrist makes it painful to type. Gah im rambling. And i need to go to bed. Dang 8am class. Well, guess this is goodbye. Hope my roomate's freakin boyfriend leaves. He better not spend the night again. ><
Night love~
Laila
Saturday, February 5, 2011
First (EPIC) Post
Last night...SUPER FUN!
It started out as a Bible study, because our regular Bible study (Refuge) was cancelled due to bad freezing weather. All day long I had been waiting for snow. It kept getting colder and colder all week and I was waiting patiently. Anyway, back to the Bible study. We met up at a friend's apartment, there ended up being at least 20 people there. After it was over, people slowly started leaving. Then, someone called and said their car was stuck. It was decided that we all needed to stay there for the night because it would just get worse. The most epic sleepover was formed. We built a fort out of sheets in the living room, watched Hook and quoted it and had deep Peter Pan discussion. Some of us kinda fell asleep, but then woke up to go outside and play in the snow!!!! Ah it was so much fun, talking and eating egg rolls, and later popcorn and hot chocolate. I love my friends.
I just wish that I could have spent more time with a certain someone. It's not like it would matter though. I do want to be better friends with him and get to know him better, but he makes it hard being semi-antisocial. He's always going to bed. I think the best thing to do is stop trying. Only a few people know that I like him. I just know it wouldn't work out, plus I know he doesn't notice me much or would ever like me like that. I probably like him for the wrong reasons anyway. I give up.
Well, I think this makes for a pretty good first blog post.
Blogger, Thanks for having me. lol
~Laila
It started out as a Bible study, because our regular Bible study (Refuge) was cancelled due to bad freezing weather. All day long I had been waiting for snow. It kept getting colder and colder all week and I was waiting patiently. Anyway, back to the Bible study. We met up at a friend's apartment, there ended up being at least 20 people there. After it was over, people slowly started leaving. Then, someone called and said their car was stuck. It was decided that we all needed to stay there for the night because it would just get worse. The most epic sleepover was formed. We built a fort out of sheets in the living room, watched Hook and quoted it and had deep Peter Pan discussion. Some of us kinda fell asleep, but then woke up to go outside and play in the snow!!!! Ah it was so much fun, talking and eating egg rolls, and later popcorn and hot chocolate. I love my friends.
I just wish that I could have spent more time with a certain someone. It's not like it would matter though. I do want to be better friends with him and get to know him better, but he makes it hard being semi-antisocial. He's always going to bed. I think the best thing to do is stop trying. Only a few people know that I like him. I just know it wouldn't work out, plus I know he doesn't notice me much or would ever like me like that. I probably like him for the wrong reasons anyway. I give up.
Well, I think this makes for a pretty good first blog post.
Blogger, Thanks for having me. lol
~Laila
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