Single.
Yup, being single on Valentine's day. Most (single) people I come across, actually even people in a relationship too, have this undying hate for this certain day of the year. It may be all the cliche and cheesy cards and gifts. Or it could even be the pressure that guys feel to be spontaneous and romantic.
But for me, I can't bring myself to hate it.
It isn't because of all the immense amount of red that appears, even though I dearly love red.
I'm actually not quite sure what it is. True, I am a hopeless romantic girl that longs for a lover, but that should be the reason I'm sad on Valentine's day. And...its not. I am a person that views love in an old-fashioned, Biblical way and having a day that celebrates that, I think should be more appreciated. Now, the Valentines of today has become so commercialized, like Christmas, that most people try to get through it and get on with their busy lives. Honestly, it shouldn't matter at all what someone gets someone else. The fact that they even thought about that person and put an effort into giving them something, to me, shows that they at least care about that person.
On the other hand...
This year I was hoping to view Valentines day the way that Asian cultures do.
In Japan, and I'm thinking Korea too, Valentines day isn't a day for couples. It is a day of confession. On this day is when girls confess their affection for a guy that they have come to be attracted to. Many girls make the gifts so personal and filled with love. They often spend all night making the chocolate or treats themselves. This may be just over-exaggerated in dramas and movies, but I have talked to people personally and it seems to be true. So anyway, I was wanting to do this for a guy that I like, but the thing is...I'm too chicken.
I keep thinking about it and then talking myself out of it. I'm think
He doesn't like me like that...if he did, he would've made it known or at least I would figure out that he did,right?
I'll just embarrass myself and put pressure on him.
I don't ever get to hang out with him, I wouldn't be able to give it to him.
I am pretty sure I'm not his type.
IM NOT EVEN ASIAN.
I bet he likes her, she did come back and they hang out all the time.
These are a few of the things that keep my from going through with it.
But What if?
What if I did do it and he just so happens to have a little of the same feelings for me?
What if he doesn't care if I'm not Asian?
What if he doesn't care about how I look or my body type?
I just came back from watching Letters to Juliet for the first time with the ASL club. Cliche, cute, chick-flick perfect for Valentines. But in the movie she say that, What if. This what if statement brought two people back together after 50 years. I know it is just a movie, but I think this a lot.
I know God has a guy for me, but when and how will I know that it's him.
I may not be super crushing like normal on this guy, but I still want to show him how I feel.
I just can't bring myself to do it in person though. I am a coward and will forever be stuck with What If, in all the "almost" relationships I would've had.
Sincerely,
신원숙 오빠 난 당신을 좋아해요 I wish I could tell you this. I wish I could sort out why and give you a reason why i like you...but I can't. I wish we could spend more time together so that maybe, just maybe you'd fall for me too.I just hope that I can see you happy all the time and be a good friend to you.
