Something is needed.

...and that something could be a car .
Having my own car would make things a lot easier for not just me, but everyone. Well everyone connected to me. I'd be able to be a better friend because I could just drop in or go over and hang out at someone's place and come and go as I please. Right, now I never go to anyone's hardly, because I don't want to ask someone for a ride. Or when I do finally get up the courage to ask someone, they can't. But I mean I guess it's not my fault. I mean, I know its not my fault. If they wanted to hang out with me they'd ask me over, or ask to come get me. Everyone should know by now that I don't have a car and don't live on campus. I guess that just tells me something right there... Yeah I know I'm making a big deal out of nothing and being pessimistic.
But I can't help it.
I really wanted to go to the Coffee Pot tonight to watch friends play a show, but look at me...I'm not there. I even changed and straightened my hair, but i had no one to bring me.
I just don't know what to do anymore.
I get so jealous of people I'm around because they've found a close friend to always be with or awesome roommates that they're super close with and do things together with.
I just miss my best friend and our relationship.
Especially once she got a car. She would just come over and "kidnap" me and bring me to her house, or we'd go do something together. I'm not saying I liked her for her car, that's not it. I'm just saying that because that's what i'm upset about right now.
Friends here that I don't have classes with or live close to anymore I hardly ever see except, maybe once a week at Refuge (which I didn't make it to this week =[ ) I feel bad asking rides from those people (which are the only people I'm close to that have cars and I feel comfortable with), because I do hardly ever see them and I don't want to be using them. I was already accused of this anyway, which i still feel terrible for.
There's this one friend that I'm not even close to who happens to live in the same apt complex. She volunteered to come pick me up from work at midnight and bring me home every Tuesday. I can't thank her enough. I gave her gas money and when she refused I didn't get out of the car without her taking it. It's the very least I can do.
Gah i wish i lived on campus. And I wish I didn't ever apply for this dang job at Jones thats super inconvenient for me.
Sorry, that I don't ever blog about happy things. I just, don't think about Blogging until im depressed and crying. It helps me say the things I can't out loud and complain about things that I can't control.
Now to wallow in my sorrow and comfort (or depress even more) myself with more drama...Asian dramas.
Until next time...

Laila~

Hi