Oh life.

It looks like I've been doing some serious bloggin lately to vent. Well more than usual. My faith is just really being tested lately. I'm just being emotional again. I used to be so emotional growing up, but I thought I had gotten a lot stronger. Now, it seems I'm back to being emotional and crying in bed at night.
This weekend a lot of things have been stressing me out.
My great-uncle Odell died on friday. At the time, i didn't know this. My dad told me something about him not pulling through his dialysis, but I took it as he was in a coma or something idk... I was half asleep. So it just now hit me.

He's the one in the hat. These are pictures I took at our family reunion this year in July. The two middle pictures are the siblings. My grandpa is the one in the blue. Then my dad is the guy sitting next to him in the first picture.
As soon as I got to the camp for the BSM Fall Retreat my mom called and told me that my dad had been diagnosed with low blood platelets and an enlarged spleen which makes him have sclerosis  of the liver. Supposedly it's not life threatening yet, but still...im gonna worry and think the worse. And then our BSM director had to talk about his when hid dad died and such. It took a lot to keep from crying. When I was on the way home, i texted my dad and said something about his diagnosis and he replied with "But I got JESUS, so don't worry about me." I didn't let it get to me then because I was in a car, but it is so getting to me now. I am glad to know he'll go to Heaven, but still...JEEZ now im sobbing. He cant go anywhere yet... Ok i have to stop thinking about this.
I have a history exam tomorrow and I haven't studied nor have i finished the essay for it. I am such a wreak right now...I need to calm down. Oh yeah...and Japanese homework and two Japanese quizzes tomorrow.
Lord please help me...give me strength to do what i need to do and not let my mind wander.

On another note...it's times like these that I wish I had a boyfriend. Someone who can hold me when I cry and tell me it'll be ok. Someone that I can depend on to comfort me and try to cheer me up. I've been so desperate and lonely lately. I mean I guess I'm always like this, but seeing all these people I know or even grew up with getting married and having babies. When will it be my turn?
I also have been feeling homesick. I just really want someone to hold me...
Im gonna have a headache from all this crying...
I guess it also doesn't help that I just started my time of the month today.