Sunday, September 11, 2011

Crying

I am crying right now and can't stop. I guess all my emotions have been building up and now they are all coming out at once. It happens to me often.
  1.  I just did an 8 hr shift (12-8pm) on my first day at my first part-time job ever. -cry-
  2.  I called a friend to hang out after work so I could rest a little and since I was already by their dorm and it's Saturday night, but friends/roommates were tired, sick, going to sleep, or busy, so its a no...and something was said. -cry-
  3.  Texted two guys to see if I could hang out at their apt since I was walking that way and wanted to hang out with someone still. Plus I hardly hang out with them without tons of other people. No reply. -cry-
  4. Walked all the way across campus and up a hill from work to my apt AFTER i had been on my feet for 8 hours. -cry-
  5. I.Have.NO.Car! -cry-
  6. Do I have any close friends here? Is there anyone that wants me around no matter what? Has anyone personally invited me to just hang out or talk one-on-one? -cry-
  7.  I'm pretty sure I annoy people because I ask for rides so much. -cry-
  8.  My best friend/s are back home! -cry-
  9.  I have no boyfriend, nor anyone that wants to be my boyfriend. I want a personal relationship with someone, I want to know that I can rely on them and they'll always be there for me. I need to feel loved. I WANT SOMEONE TO HOLD ME!  (besides Jesus) -cry-
  10. I am on my own. For real. I've been hurt a couple of times recently. I want my mommy to hug  me and help me. Finally Homesick? -cry-
  11. Mom calls. -sob-
  12. Mom wanted me to talk to her while a walked all the way back so i wouldn't be alone in the dark and didn't want any thing to happen to me. worried. -sob-
  13. Mom sorry that have no car and wish she could do something. -sob-
  14. I need things from store: shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hair moose, some groceries. -cry-
  15. I still need things for work: black pants and black no slip shoes! -cry-
  16. Best friend wants to talk. Cant cause tired and i'll sob again. -cry-
  17. Oh the pants that i just wore to work, my only black-ish ones, broke. -cry-
  18. Skin problems acting up. -cry-
  19. Cant go to church tomorrow. -cry-
  20. Work and most of this repeat tomorrow. -cry-
Now you know what's mostly on my mind. Reason to cry...i think so. I still having trouble stopping. Hopefully I can sleep tonight. ;_;
I'm out~  Meliah.

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